gdine

moahaha. i’m juz back from bbq with my colleagues! haha. dai dee was fun! mel and jeng loon are like the more frequent ‘ass-holes’ haha. speaking of which, i’m reminded of the baby in ‘meet the fockers’ trying to pronounce tt word. haha. so amusing!was helping to bbq the chicken wings and qing hui was totally violent when we tried to break the chicken joints lah! haha. not to mention the ice attack at the end! WX!! haha. food we ate: chicken wings, sausages, banana/marshmellows with hersheys choco, satay, otah, bee hoon, chips, almost 1.5litres of drinks each. and something random: i fed a cat an entire chicken wing! and the cat actually looks quite chio for a cat! haha. and wx’s camera got accidentally thrown into the bin with all the bee hoon and stuff! haha. so suay.

yesterday went out to celebrate cl’s bday with odac gang. haha. nice dinner! and they sang a bday song with free dessert(for cl only) haha. shld c the embarrassed look on cl’s face. like so typical of him lahs! went to minds later and played alot of nice games, though some quite supid. im totally lousy at some idiot game. haha. and cc is super sly! ad shld improve on him boardgame skills! moahaha. so entertaining. yupp.

wh’s bday coming soon! haha. yays!

and yahs. i’ll be gg for my second round of interview for firefly! moahaha. it feels a bit scary. but yahs. shall juz try my best. suppose to present a 5 min presentation of "how can singapore think big?" yupppp. feels so gp-ish. haha.

oh my apologies if i irritate you with the ‘geraldine has updated her blog’. haha. though most of the stuff i write are quite crap. haha. (:

moahaha. i’m like using my dad’s lap top now to surf the net. so shuang to type on the keys on the lap top!! ren xin ci ai zhao wan qian is showing on channel u. glad they’ve broke out of the typical charity shows kind if image, which had been pretty bad from wat i feel. but yahs, if u get wat i mean, it’s pretty genuinely touching this time. esp when they show the stories of the different patients.

yesterday went out to get presents for cc and gq. yup. the other 3 ppl were all late. roars. so irritating. like wat’s the point of fixing a time when no one comes on time. juz like during open hse yahs. someone was ultra late. haha.

today’s sunday, but i still had to work. haha. sian. 1st april!! gg to help with some belaying nxt fri. moahaha. so exciting lahs. i can’t wait. i wanna do outdoor-y stuff! moahahahha. i’m so shuang by the tot of it.

this entry is totally meaningless. haha cuz i juz wanna type from a lap top and feel shuang. like i’m totally so self-entertaining! haha.

was really emotional juz now. for no apparent reason. suddenly feel tt my life like not v meaningful these days. haha. which is y i think i’m taking up some courses after 1st april, yeah. probably a lang and some exercise related course. (: ‘oh yah. watched a really really touching korean drama. so touching lahs!!!! haha.

i’m so random.

hoho. my first successful attempt to log in on first try! haha

applied for my uni studies le. yup. Nus- life sci, business. Ntu - Bio sci, business. haha. yahs. i realise it has been my dream -for a period of time- to be involved in nature and wildlife research. haha. as in really gg out dere to do stuff. probably taking part in wildlife conservation too. haha. but yahs..  somewhere inside me.. there’s a fear to take tt step out… out from a stable, high-paying job with good prospects.. one which most typical singaporeans would take. Haf to admit.. sometimes i would think if i shld juz follow the foot steps of everyone else. take something which will keep me financially stable.. but will i be happy or satisified? haha. tt’s often the dilemma. for now.. i guess life sci/bio sci is wat i would like to study..

read a really gd book last month. haha. it was ultra meaningful. i shall try to relay it as best as i can.

Sometimes we ask why certain things happen, especially unfortunate events. But things often happen for a reason.

In a garden, there was a perfect, flawless flower pot and an old, cracked flower pot. During the rainy season, it rained for days and water was trapped in the prefect flower pot. Algae began to grow in it and the grasses surrounding the flower pot died as no water could reach them. The cracked flower pot, on the other hand, was washed cleaned and shiny as water can seep out through the cracks. As a result, grasses surrounding the cracked flower pot flourished.

our lives can be reflected through the two pots. Would u rather live a perfect but useless life without making an significance to this society -like the flawless pot, or choose to live a flawed but useful and significant life-like the cracked pot ?

A young undergrad pursuing medicine met with a major accident but survived with a deep scar on his arm. We may ask why such an unfortunate event would happen on such a fine young man. But this young man went on and studied to become a highly sucessful doctor. What made him a cut above the rest was the fact that the deep scar on his arm allowed him to develop a connection with his patients. He could confidently tell them that he understands how they feel  and his patients, looking at the scar on his arm, gain a special kind of motivation that they too, can survive the ordeal. This was something he would not be able to do if he had not met with tt accident. Although flawed, he gained a new perspective in life and an ability to inspire.

haha. sounds v chiem rite. but it was sooo meaningful lahs. guess tt’s all i wanna write.

OMG. i can FINALLY log into friendster. QI SI WO LE! piew. let all tt anger out. haha.the freaking thing will juz reload the pg each time i tried to log in lahs. haha. been wanting to write something. dunno when’s the next time i can actually write the next entry. RA.

alot of things happened after ot ya..

found a job as a service staff for CPF at community centre. yahs. basically help ppl fill up the WBＳ and ans their queries. quite a boring job for me.. roars. leading camps seem to b much more enjoyable though more tirring and pressurizing at times! haha. can’t wait to find another job after this assignment!

realise i miss jc life. haha. every single thing abt it. haha. well, time juz fly passed so quickly! working is so.. ahs… no meaning.

got my A lvl results today! guess it’s a smile? yahs. when i first saw my result.. was stunned for a moment. then felt neutral. haha. though i predicted a min after the examiners collected my maths s paper tt i’ll get ungraded. haha. but well.. haha. it juz doesn’t look gd. haha. oh wells. lots of emotions gg on today while collecting results. juz wanna let everyone noe tt.. hmms. luv u guys. whether ur results r gd/bad, i’ll always b dere? haha. sounds weird. at least the whole A level thing is over. time to move on and consider the choices we haf and the best route to take!

lots of frenship forged along the way.. i hope they’ll always stay strong (:

yo. haha. suddenly the tot of writing out stuff on the blog seems v scary.. some unknown person can juz analyze u like crazy, which sounds erms.. eerie. haha.

I’m back from OT3! shall pen down something and store them as sweet memories (:

2Jan- Day 1

Boarded the bus from Golden Mile Complex. haha. Sing, laugh, play and eat! haha. Feasted on chips and nuts! my fav jap nuts and snacks! wohoo. and me and jw tried singing songs from the mp3 player and letting other ppl guess wat songs they are. highly amusing bcuz of our tone deaf-ness! hahaha. and the ABC game with animals. yak! Reached the murni campsite which is inside a looks wulu place. haha. jw, db, wh, jn and me into the chicken coop! our slping place for 3 nights (: heng got mosquito net, if not all the disgusting creepy crawlies will attack us. (got alot of dead shrivelled up spiders on the net. scary) first night dere. haha. our slping order. db, jn, jw, me, wh. we wore track pants and hide ourselves in sleeping bags underneath the m.net. haha. and we were like on fire inside cuz damn warm! sweat like mad. haha. first night didn’t slp well. my spine like wanna break and i was counting down for the alarm to ring. oh yahs. we met our nice neighbours (the chicken coop beside us) and woke them up from the noise we made. haha. oops. and i met my look alike! haha. oh yahs. muz tok abt our sanitation. tandas! haha. ladies got four cubicles two shower places. a bit lao pok but still can manage. the shower place are juz short walls so when u bathe can see ppl outside! which i try to avoid. haha.

Day2

shall formally intro our transportation ard the places of our activites - our nice red truck! haha. the guys will haf their fav activity of dodging the branches, leaves and twigs as we travel. haha. the wind and sights and sounds we see and hear were shiok. okies. back to day2 activity. white water rafting and waterfall abseil! (: a bit kong bu at first haha. but it was damn super fun. our helmets got funny faces! On my raft- (front)jw,me. (middle)cl. (back) wh, rp and our amazing river guide whose mid body power is super duper pro! haha. some interesting commands: hold, boom boom. haha. 2 most impt ones. and move to the back/front. haha. when u get stuck at the rocks, super exciting. our raft was tilted and the right half was like submerging with water. haha. jw and cl and rp we like almost covered with water le. haha. exciting until cannot say. haha. jw still grab my leg thinking it was part of the raft. haha. and the most chi4 ji1 part was, we ended up standing on the rock we got stuck in and rp was trying to get up the rock when the river pushed the raft free from the rock. and he fell into the water! super jing1 xian3. and our high5 and smacking the water with our paddles! plus attacking other rafts with water! haha. next was waterfall abseil. haha. looks super scary cuz the water looks strong and the rocks looks slippery but it turned out ok. and quite fun! though i alamak got slip a few times. haha. the eng sounds bad. anywaes, our guides were once again super duper pro while they set up the ropes for the abseil! they can totally just walk up one part of the water fall. amazing-ness.

Day 3

Flying fox and high ropes! plus a bit of caving. there were some communist writings on the rocks, quite interesting. haha. flying fox was shuang! high ropes was nice bahs. i was damn horrified at first. like super scary. turned out ok. though at some points i cheated by holding the rope tt held me to the rope above. haha. the first segment was the climb up the wobbly ladder which was like the most tiring one. then a rope roughly at neck level for u to hold on while u walk on a rope. next is a cross shape rope to hold on. the last part where the cross opens out is super scary and hard to balance. haha. i was quite lang bei dere. cl will know. haha. next was the single rope by single rope to hold while walking across. this one i cheat like free. haha. held on to my own rope. and then abseiled down! got the heart dropping feeling! but the stopping part was quite pain. haha. then the guys and jn did rock climbing. so pro! night time, we played card games and some ate supper. rp like crazy over ramli burger. haha. the pig game invented by kx v sly! haha. and will haf nei4 shang1 juz like wat jw said. haha.

Day 4

caving. sharks. i forgot the name of the cave. ah. but it was damn nice. marvelled by the natural rock surfaces created that seem to be scruptures of dolphins, tigers, fish, goddess of mercy, monkey driving motorbike, duck, jellyfish, pregnant lady, heart shape, ghost, dinosaur, elephant, nightmare b4 xmas! haha. with the sewn up smile. the crawling thro the caves and getting wet was shiok. and stepping into holes, sliding down marble rocks (v painful) , climbing up and down the long stairs! haha. and the guide quite lively in his descriptions, throwing in a few chinese words as he go. haha. picked up a few small rocks. took nice pics (: end of our ra ra adventure. took a bus to KL. the guest hse we stayed in tt night was nice! v homely and v cosy! dinner was the food stalls by the road. things we ate : fried mushroom(cuz of my swollen eye ltr) plus salad, ji1 cheong3 fan2, Fried carrot cake, chicken wings, satay, chicken guo tiao, oyster egg, weird fried stuff like yong dao hu family.. haha. ok food. chicken wings and satay were nice! bad dinner for cl. fell sick with food poisoning!nice thing tt happen: i bought Mr Brown! much to be condemned by wh, db and jw. only jn supported me! haha.

Day 5

wohoo. woke up. shuang!  bed was nice to slp. cl went to the hopsital due to this stomach. ate dim sum breakfast! chicken feet(which turned out quite nice), har gao, siew mai, weird mais, dao bao, glutinous rice! with chinese tea. nice~ then we went to a nearby plaza. walked ard, bought stuff from giant, watsons. lunch for me was chocolate waffle and barley drink! then went to the chinatown dere by a taxi which cheated our money. paid 10RM for a 3 plus RM ride. haha. the chinatown stalls are v fierce, moving ard and shouting for ppl to move away, with their dangerous looking metal bars sticking out. wa sei. and the stalls like all sell the same things one. imitation goods like bags, wallets, belts, watches from gucci to rolex, mango, nike.. alamak! didn’t get anything nice. oh. only thing we got were the water bottles for cy, ry and tw. the stall holder still attemp to cheat us that it’s sigg(duno correct spelling a not) bottles lah! like she think i’m an idiot or wat. somemore still say they give the metal thing to hook, v gd. and quote so high the price. haha. we from 3 for 51 to 3 for 30RM before buying. haha. later on we hopped on the monorail from Imbi station to KL central. cars horn like free. haha. we ate at KFC in the train station. my zinger meal! shuang~ but cl still feeling sick which was quite sad cuz he look really unwell. jn and db bought him mr bean bear! Mr Brown’s small fren, who was later named xiao xiong dou dou by cl. haha.  boarded the train. very interestin. explored the train all the way to the engine section. my bed was an upper deck above jw’s. played dai dee while the lower deck ppl gossip like mad. haha. later wh jw and i also gossiped a bit and started toking abt everything under the sun from ideal perfect man to family, future career. hah. until 2 am i cannot take it le. then we went to slp. woke up ard 6 plus. reached s’pore at 8.07 like tat. took shun feng che from wh and then took bus home. realised i could haf took 88 then 89. so dumb! could haf saved bus fare and time. ra. expensive bus fare now. hmpf. watched ad on tv(xiao ding dang) while eating breakfast. oh ya. when i was walking home with the da bao-ed food.. i got attacked by crows!ah. embarrassment. tat’s prob the end le. haha.

nice trip. hope there’d OT4 (:

sigh. been feeling kind of down recently. hard to explain, dunno where to start. i need a job soon! haha. something to do, something to work for. miss school le. haha. dun think i’m crazy or something. but yahs, i really do miss school.

sometimes it’s hard to make ppl understand though i may not understand wat others are thinking at times. sometimes i feel neglected or scolded by ppl who dun noe the entire story. and i’m sick of explaining. though sometimes, it’s partly my fault. haha. but yahs. it’s a terribly feeling. as if i’m so free and as if i choose to be so free.

i guess i’m reaching a certain phase bahs. haha. yahs. and i need to get used to it. sigh. juz realised tt whenever i’m too stressed out or sad or angry, i’ll tear paper into tiny bits and pieces. haha. it’s quite a nice way to de-stress. dere’s a pile beside me now.

i’ll probably be feeling stupid again after a few days. feel like gg the beach tmr. haha. shall do tt. write more another day (:

moahahaha! A level exams are over! heeheehee. feeling very light, yet excited and unsure at the same time. haha. this is the weird me. My very lst feeling after the invigilator said ‘pens down’ was.. woah.. unbelievable, a bit shocked and lost. haha. told a few ppl abt this and they think i’m crazy to feel lost after exams. but, well, u can’t really control wat or how u feel sometimes watz. haha. feels a bit weird tat a minute before, u’re mugging furiously and a minute after, u haf all the time in the world! haha.

Wanted to go back sch to run and then cycle home. haha. but it rained almost the whole of today! roars. In the end, went out to the market with my mum to buy the ingredients for a nice dinner tonight. yay. Since my mum started working, there is alot less chance of eating the food she cooks. In the past, seem to eat her cooked food everyday such that i’ll complain abt the lack of variety etc and crave for food outside. but these months, been craving for nice, healthy, not so oily food, which is the direct opposite of the food outside. sigh. even the veg at veg rice store has lots of oil. not to mention those mee pok store with the lard oil and all tat. arrhhhh! horrible. haha. i sound like a health freak. but seriously, outside food can sometimes be ‘cooked to kill’! haha.
Tried to do some indoor exercise (cuz of the rain) haha. but not v successfully lehs.. like dun haf the exercise feeling. haha. realised that doing hsework is quite a gd exercise! like sweeping and mopping the floor. which will be wat i’m doing after finish typing this entry. haha. and my room like super dirty. haha. cuz it’s kinda out of bounds to my family members during mugging times. yup. and some eraser bits will roll to the floor and get rolled and flattened by the rollers of my roller chair. haha. kind of like pizza. in the yucky sense. and they’ll stick to my floor. which will feel sandy and rough. haha. yuck rite. think my room is the dirtest of all rooms. oops. haha.

oh! i cut my hair. not v major but the shape changed. haha. prom coming le! moahahaa… but muz spend money on stuff. clothes, make-up, styling etc. tried on one dress tat day quite nice! but quite ex. also. haha. shall think abt it. think my mum like grumbing a bit. muz go sweep floor le. haha. continue another day (:   

Had 2 major take-aways today. haha. here goes.

From Maria Bartiromo: One of the most important character traits anyone can haf is courage. The courage to find your hidden strength and let it lead u, to make difficult choices and see them through.

From my Zodiac sign: You are enormously versatile, to the pt that u really should try to control the impulse to be good at everything. Otherwise life may be full of half-achieved objectives.

hm. good to ponder over the last line.

haha. back to write something. Many things in my mind now. wanted to delete this blog but reading thro my pervious entries make it so cruel to do so. feels as if i’m deleting away my memories!
hpmf. juz realised my emotions were like a roller coaster in all my other entries. haha. from the cheerful me to the angry and irritated me. many ppl say i get stressed easily, i guess tat’s true. haha. something i muz work and improve on bahs. yup.
Been thinking alot abt the future. wat i want to do, what i like to do, wat i can do and should do. They all seemed to be different things. haha. Sometimes i really admire ppl who haf a strong direction in life. For me, it’s always one step at a time, unsure of wat i’ll end up with.

Have been mugging for the past few weeks. sounds bleak but yah. haha. guess studying is something which we have to do even though we may not always like it. Since i started schooling, the impression and mindset was to study and get gd results, for tat will make ur parents proud, happy, and thro’ the mouths of many adults, studying hard now will get u a gd job, gd pay and a ‘happy’ life. which i feel is true. BUt all these.. hm. i dunno.. seem to mask individual talents, especially talents in the unwritten form, which the whole world seem to place greater emphasize on. I feel tat is y many of us study w/o knowing wat we r studying for, we study often not for interest but for the role tat we’ve been placed in since birth. something tat occur as a result of wat our older generation have been thro. but hey, there is a difference between then and now. Does wat i say make any sense? haha.

Started tuitioning a p4 kid. haha. life is getting interesting. he’s such a ‘highly distracted’ kid. it can be quite a torture getting him to juz sit down and write something. especially chinese, his worst subject. but kids these days.. haha. how shld i put it.. i think it’s better to b born earlier. A p4 kid with 2 tuition lessons at the centre, 2 private tuitions at home and remedial lessons plus normal lessons per wk. hm. guess childhood days are slowly being shortened. Shall do my best for this kid anyway.

argh!
to ppl who will receive a ‘Geraldine had updated her blog’. pls deactivate tt function. i dun wan ppl to keep receiving such emails each time i add a new post. damn irritatin. And my purpose of havin this blog is to write something w/o the whole world knowing. AND tt utterly defeats my purpose.
Ok. i m in an angry mode. i just feel like typing something. typing wat i feel now. for MY own entertainment.
feel like just escaping from everything sometimes. to b invisible. not to care abt everything. live in my tiny puny world.
ARGH.